Men will NEVER learn!!! Women will Never change!!!

A woman and a man are involved in a car
accident.

It's a bad one, caused by the woman's
reckless driving.Both of their cars are
demolished but amazingly neither of them
are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; “So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a
woman.

Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing
left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we
should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you
completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued,"And look at this,
here's another miracle.

My car is completely demolished, but this
bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and
celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it, drinks half the bottle and then
hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately
puts the cap back on, and hands it back to
the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for
the police to come and collect their
evidence."

Moral:
Men will NEVER learn !

Women will Never change!!! =D

Invisible on the Internet!!!

If you value your rapidly disappearing privacy while surfing the Internet you need to know about these tools. Whether you want to protect yourself from snoopers, want to spy on those out to get you, or want to be able to track trends that you know will lead to something big, then these tools will help you get the job done. The best part about them is they are FREE!

Without a Trace

If you want to use the Internet without anyone knowing who you are or leave an untraceable phone number or email address, then these tools are for you.

1. Big String. Big String offers self-destructing IMs and emails for those who don’t want any evidence of their online communications. Use with many popular IM clients.
2. Mozilla Firefox, Portable Edition. This free web browser leaves no personal information on your computer. Not only can you use this anywhere, but no one will know you were there.
3. x Paranoia mod. This Firefox extension is great for those who want to leave nothing behind on the computer. With a couple of clicks you can clear all your Internet history, passwords, cookies, and cache.
4. Bugmenot.com. If you’ve ever had to register with a site just to read an article or watch a video, then you will want this tool. Find login information for many websites that require registration and never have to give your information again.
5. 10 Minute Mail. Use this tool to get an email address that is good for 10 minutes, then expires. This is a great way to register with sites that require an email validation or just to cover your tracks.
6. inumbr. Get a disposable phone number that you can use to forward calls to any other phone in the U.S. No one will be able to trace you with this number.
7. GrandCentral. Here’s another phone option when you don’t want to be traced by your number. Consolidate all your phones into one with this tool that gives you one voice mailbox and one number for all your phones.
8. drop.io. Want to share a top-secret online file with someone and then have no sign of the evidence later? This is the tool for you. The file is deleted after 30 days.
9. Fake Name Generator. If you need a name, address, email, or even a UPS tracking code, use this handy tool to generate any one of the necessary fakes.
10. cl1p.net. Create a note or upload a photo that you can keep for yourself or share, then delete it when you are finished with absolutely no sign of what you had.

Browsing Security

If you want to browse the Internet in privacy, these tools will help you do just that. Use these to do the actual browsing or to check the security of your browsing privacy.

1. Hide My Ass!. Hide your identity with this free tool. This proxy service will hide your IP address so no one will know you.
2. Tor. Like getting secreted away, this free service allows you to hide your Internet identity with a “network of virtual tunnels.” Join journalists, government agencies, and more who use Tor for the ultimate in Internet privacy.
3. Guardster. Another proxy service that hides your IP, this one is available in both free and for a fee versions. The free version does not work with encrypted SSL sites.
4. Megaproxy. Paste the URL for whatever website you want to visit into this tool and you will have a completely private look at your target site. No registration or downloads needed to use this tool.
5. Scandoo. Get real time protection when surfing the Internet with warnings about websites before you click on them. Based on ScanSafe technology, this home version is free.
6. ShieldsUP!. Check out this tool to learn what information your browser is sending out. You can also test the effectiveness of your personal firewall when running ShieldsUP! testing.
7. Privoxy. Privoxy is an open source non-caching web proxy with advanced filtering capabilities for enhancing privacy, modifying web page data and HTTP headers, controlling access, and removing ads and other obnoxious Internet junk.
8. What Is My IP Address?. Use this tool to ensure your IP blocking software is working correctly and not revealing your true IP address.
9. Clusty. Use this search engine when browsing. Clusty doesn’t save your information or track you at all when you use it.
10. Scroogle. Try searching Google with this tool. Scroogle uses SSL to send your search terms to Google with encryption, then does the same when sending the results back to you.

Computer Security

Using the Internet is a huge open door for people to stick their nose in your business. Use these tools to slam that door tightly shut.

1. Malwarebytes’ Anti-Malware. This anti-malware software is one of the best tools available for removing crap from your computer. Best when used in conjunction with Ad-Aware to keep your PC 99.999% malware free.
2. avast!. This free anti-virus software is one of the best available (for free or for a fee) at protecting your computer. This tool will alert you any time malware is detected and even checks incoming email. avast! also includes a boot-time scan option.
3. Ad-Aware. The free version of this software does an excellent job of protecting your computer against spyware and adware. The paid version gives you real-time protection which is not available with the free one.
4. Sandboxie. This free tool is great for both protecting your computer and getting rid of evidence. It works as a temporary storage area for information that would normally go to and from your hard drive. When you are finished in the “sandbox,” you can just clear it out.
5. ThreatFire. Use this in conjunction with your anti-virus to fend off malware. ThreatFire detects malicious behavior such as capturing keystrokes and also serves to defend against zero-day threats.
6. SnoopFree Privacy Shield. The ultimate free software for the ultra-cautious, this tool will detect any method of privacy invasion through your keyboard, screen, and open windows.
7. Comodo Firewall. Keep out hackers with this free firewall. This program is one of the best when it comes to protecting your computer.
8. WinPatrol. Protect your privacy and your computer with this free tool that works by alerting you to “hijackings, malware attacks and critical changes made to your computer without your permission.”
9. AVG Free Anti-Virus. Get anti-virus and anti-spyware protection from this free software. This software also includes a scheduled scan option.
10. TrueCrypt. This disk encryption software will keep nosey-parkers at bay. You can create a virtual encrypted disk, encrypt USB flash drives and hard drives, and more.
11. Trustable Downloader. Download files from the Internet without worries of Trojans, worms, or viruses with this free application. As described, this tool will help guard you against government spying on its citizens.
12. SiteAdvisor. This software alerts you before you visit a website that has spyware or harvests your information for spam. Use their color-coded system to alert you to the potential dangers of websites.
13. Peer Guardian 2. This IP blocker is capable of blocking incoming and outgoing connections. You can also select to block spyware, adware, and educational and government ranges.
14. GlowWorm FW Lite . Mac users can use this software to be informed when a program attempts to make an outgoing connection. Not only will this tool protect your information, it also guards against malware.

Laptop Tracking

If someone makes off with your laptop, know how to stop them with these tools.

1. Adeona. If you want to guard against someone taking your laptop, check out this tool. This software continually tells you where your laptop is located without the interference of any third party to help you track and recover your computer.
2. iAlertU. Another laptop protection and tracking device, this one specifically for Macs, this software is based off mouse and keyboard movement which sets off an alarm, takes a photo of the thief, and emails the photo to a specified email address.

Spying on Those Out to Get You

If you know someone is trying to get to you, then turn the tables on them with these tools that will help you get the dirt on them.

1. GotVoice. Take advantage of the 14 day free trial to have your target’s voice mail sent directly to you. If you need more time, get another 14 day trial with different information.
2. Decoding Social Security Numbers in One Step. You can’t get everything out of that magical number with this tool, but you can narrow down the state and year of issue with any social security number instantly.
3. Keylogger. This free software allows you to log everything entered on the keyboard so you can track computer usage. Be sure to use the stealth mode so your target doesn’t know you are tracking him.
4. Decode Your License. This article describes how you can get a driver’s license from any state and decode the barcode on it to receive personal information. You will need the Internet tool described in the article and a scanner.
5. Webcam Spy. Use this software to spy on your target using a webcam. The software activates the webcam with a motion sensor for an auto on and off feature. Spying on your target isn’t the only use for this–you can also use it in your home to see who comes by when you are gone.

Maps for Monitoring Occurrences

Whether you are looking for evidence for your conspiracy theory or trying to put all the pieces together on a plot you know is about to be hatched, then these maps will help you get all the information you need.

1. Global Incident Map. Find out where terrorism is occurring around the world with this mapping tool. You be able to find plenty of patterns to put together your own theories.
2. HealthMap. This tool will keep you posted on health alerts. Find outbreaks by geographical location, disease, or chronological occurrence.
3. Who is Sick?. This Google map-based tool shows symptoms for any geographical spot. You’ll be able to track any type of outbreaks with this tool.
4. Incident1. Track police, fire, and emergency services on this map. You can also do a search by zip code or select a region within the states.
5. Incidentlog. If you live in the northeast and couldn’t find anything on Incident1, try Incidentlog for more options. This map is populated from a different pool of data.
6. Havaria Information Service Alert Map. Find everything from earthquakes to hazmat incidences to biological hazards on this world map. You can narrow the results by country if you don’t want to see the world view.
7. GeoMAC Wildfire Information. This map shows where wildfires are currently burning throughout the United States or check out past wildfires since 2002.
8. Piracy Attacks Maps. Pirates on the high seas are not a thing of the past. Use this map to track current piracy around the world.
9. UNEP: Atlas of Our Changing Environment. Sponsored by the United Nations Environment Programme, this map includes incidents that document environmental changes around the world. Click on each incident to see photos and read the story.
10. Google Maps Mania. This unofficial site follows the incredible array of various interactive maps being used in conjunction with Google Maps. Find a map that tracks your favorite passion or create one of your own.

Source: Survival Station :)

Life izzz beautifulll the way it is...

ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. 
It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, and almonds.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. 
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything !

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

17. Help the needy,Be generous ! Be a 'Giver' not a 'Taker'

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. Time heals everything.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed ,Pray to God and Be thankful for what you have accomplished, today !

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed !

100 Websites You Should Know and Use

The Web is constantly turning out new and extraordinary services. Now, by popular demand, here’s his list of 100 websites you should know and use >>

CURIOSITY & KNOWLEDGE
reuters.com
research.philips.com
readme.cc.png
podtropolis.com
papertoys.com
new7wonders.com
lipsum.com
thomasedison.org
beelinetv.com
useit.com
submarinechannel.com/titlesequences
visual-literacy.org
cartype.com
captology.stanford.edu
bannerblog.com_au
ge.com
curiosityshoppeonline.com
creativecommons.org
lawsofsimplicity.com
gnu.org
digg.com

GRAPHICS, MUSIC & ARTS
yugop.com
vincent-vella.com
uva.co.uk
tutorialblog.org/free-vector-downloads
tate.org.uk
squidfingers.com/patterns
sohodolls.co.uk
radioblogclub.com
photogravure.com
netdiver.net/illustration
mine-control.com
matthewmahon.com
marcelod2.com.br
magwerk.com
kraftwerk.blocmedia.net
headbangers.tv *
grupow.com/circulo
creaturesinmyhead.com
bernhardwolff.com
arturofuentes.com
alennox.net

E-COMMERCE EXPERIENCE
colette.fr
imaginemusicstore.com
canyon.com
coft1.com
heftyrecords.com
ourtype.be
freddyandma.com
nikeid.nike.com
feelthepower.biz
shopcomposition.com
oneill.com
agentprovocateur.com

SEARCHING & FINDING
trendwatching.com
thefwa.com
springwise.com
scirus.com
scholar.google.com
podcasts.yahoo.com
msdewey.com
maps.live.com
chacha.com
books.google.com

ONLINE RESOURCES
infopresse.com/prixboomerang
rjnet.com.br/2velocimetro_php
vixy.net
kuler.adobe.com
wikitravel.org
thinkingwithtype.com
dominiopublico.gov.br
madehow.com
icp.org
howstuffworks.com
dafont.com
dictionary.reference.com
gutenberg.org
nationmaster.com
en.proverbia.net
del.icio.us
touchgraph.com

TOP INTERACTIVE EXPERIENCE CREATORS
2advanced.com
akqa.com
almapbbdo.com.br
artless.gr.jp
bigspaceship.com
d-o-e-s.com
domanistudios.com
eurorscg4d.com
farfar.se
firstbornmultimedia.com
group94.com
heiwa-alpha.co.jp
hi-res.net
lowetesch.com
mecano.ca
northkingdom.com
rga.com
soleilnoir.com
wefail.com

Ppl will nevA stop Asking....

When you're single, people ask about Girlfriend.....When you have a fiance, they ask about wedding? When you get married, they ask when will you have a baby? When you already have one, they ask when is little brother or sister coming? When you get divorced, they ask why? If you move on, they ask why so quickly? People will never stop asking....You should be proud of who you are and you shouldn't care about what people think about you =)

Are kuch nahi soch raha meri maa

"Problem yeh hai ki woh ladki hai. aur kya problem hai

Problem yeh hai ki main chahata hoon ki meri life mein koi
problem na ho

Lekin agar meri life mein koi problem na ho toh yeh uski life ki
sabse badi problem hai

And bull shit she is worried yaar, Usse to celebrate karna chahiye tha

She is in this exactly what she wants

Seriously yaar aajkal jab bhi wo muh kholti man karta hai muh me kuch stuff kardoon

Trust me yaar 6 mahino me I have had it all Sab dekhliya meine

Kaunsi pyaar Kaisi relationship? Kahin ki khushiya?

Relationship ka matlab ye rehta hai an end to your own happiness

Uske baad all you have to worry about is uski khushiyaan uska birthday, uske kutte ka birthday, Uska new year to kabhi tumhara
bhi new year tha

In ladkiyon ko na koi khush nahi rakh sakta

A happy woman is a myth

Tu batman wali ki dekh le, Saala Jab tak saala batman nahi bana tab tak bolti rahi "tum toh kuch karte nahi ho, nakara ho, napunshak ho
main tum jaise insaan ke saath

kaise reh sakti hu jisdin bechara batman ban gaya

Us din boli "Tum toh batman ban gaye", Mujhe toh ek normal insaan chahiye tha

Main tumhare saath kaise reh sakti hu

Sab saalan na in bollywood kahaniyon ka dosh hai, Bloody bollywood romantic masaala

Ek ladka ek ladki dono ko pyaar hua Dono saath saath Film khatam, Iske baad ka story koi nahi batata

Iske baad ki kahaani mein batata hoon

Iske baad ladke ne ladki ko do din hug nahi kiya To problem

Hug kiya to chape ho rahe ho Itna bhi achcha nahi lagta

Saale Shopping khatam nahi hoti, inki Pehle cushion laye fir curtain laye cushion, curtain se match nahi kiye toh aur cushion laye

Mere ghar mein mug itne hai ki unko bechne jaoon toh mahine ka kharcha nikal aaye

Ek to jo cheez lena hai wo leke nahi ayegi do hafte dimag chatenge ki table lena hai table lena hai

5 ghante mall me bitake ek sadhi si chappal utha kar layenge aur fir agle do hafte dimag chatenge
table lena hai table lena hai...

Office me kaam kar raha hoon, Phone aa jayega, Phone utathe hi bol deta hoon Baat nahi kar sakta

Kitna mushkil hai ye baat samajhna? Do minute karloge to kya ho jayega

Are do minute karloonga to tumhe kya miledi meri maan

Thik se to kar paoonga nahi, Aur iske baad I love you bole bina phone kaata to naatak

Sabse jyada dimaag ki dahi is mobile phone ne ki hai.

Kitna ghatiya invention hai saala..!! Trust me I say patta hai saala patta...

ek toh ...inke ad bhi dekho lo ji 1 paisa per second aur phone karo aur phone karo..!! Aare call sasti ho jaane se baat thodi na badh jati hai karne ko
fir iska jawab unhe bhi do

Tumhare pass baat kyon nahi hai karne ko, You have lost interest in me

Tumhe hoon hoon hi karna atha toh maine tumhe phone hi kyon kiya..??

Arrey meri maa mujhe kya pata tune mujhe phone kyon kiya???

Jaa ke bharti mittal se puch na, Tujhe main bata raha hoon..!! Uss ad mein kutta nahi kutia hai...seriously Main shart laga sakta hoon...

Tujhe kya lagta hai Columbus ko pata nahi tha wo India nahi jaa raha tha.!! Galti se pahoonch gaya?

Usko to pata tha Wo bechara to kahin door jana chahta tha

Biwi ki chakkar me bolna pada India jaa raha hoon, Nah to das sawaal poochti

Kahaan jaa rahe ho, Kyon jaa rahe ho,Achcha tumhe pata bhi nahi kahaan jaa rahe ho? Seedhe seedhe kyon nahi bolte ki mujhse kahin door jaan chahte ho

Aaj tak bechare ka mazaak udati hai duniya

Office me kaam kar raha hoon, Sms aajayega, I love you..!! Thik hai mein bhi sms karleta hoon I love you too

Iske baad sms pe sms shuroo abey kaam kya karti hai office mein..?? Do sms ka reply mat karna

Turant Phone aa jayega, Phone mat uthaa. To dus min me message aa chuka hoga

I don't think its working anymore Dus min me Babu I love you to, I don't think its working anymore

And this is when they are not even down

Ab pata chala ye aadmiyon ko itne heart attack kyon aate hain

Aur yeh..!! Gay bande itne successful kyon hote hai??? Because they don't have a woman to screw their happiness na

Log kehte hain na behind every successful man, there is a woman True..!! But koi ye nahi bataata ki behind every unsuccessful man,
also there is a woman

Aur ye to koi bhi bata sakta hai na Ki unsuccessful logon ka taadaath

Successful logon se kayi guna zyada hai is duniya me

Saala Office me kaam kar raha hoon, Keh raha hoon late ho jaaonga, To khaana nahi khayegi Phir bhooki so jayegi

Are mein keh raha hoon na khana khalo..!! Kya karoon naukri chod doon?

Saale ghar jaao Pehle Inhe manao inhe khilao, Uske baad khud ki bhookh to aise hi mar jaati hai

Is sab ke baad bhi insaan kisi tarah Kone me jaake shaanti se baitha hua hai chup chaap to gaya

Gadi gadi

kya soch rahe ho???
kya soch rahe ho???
kya soch rahe ho???

Are kuch nahi soch raha meri maa

yeh soch raha hoon ki tera mooh kaise band karun 

Do not value the THINGS you have in your life...But value WHO you have in your life!

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some
point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who
had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the
sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds
of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave
it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND
AND T O CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Do not value the THINGS you have in your life..

But value WHO you have in your life!

 

TrY ThiS!! I don't think anyone can do it

Remember trying this during our school days.Just thought to remind once again for fun and it will be a good exercise too....

Lift your right foot a few inches from the floor and then begin to move it in a clockwise direction. While you’re doing this, use a finger your right index finger to draw a number 6 in the air.
 Your foot will turn in an anticlockwise direction and there’s nothing you can do about it!

The left side of your brain, which controls the right side of your body, is responsible for rhythm and timing. The left side of your brain cannot deal with operating two opposite movements at the same time and so it combines them into a single motion.

Try this with your right foot and left hand and you should have no problem!

ThE GreAt BrAin anALySis!!!!

INTERESTING BRAIN ANALYSIS !!!!!

Women - Multiple process
Women's brain is designed to concentrate on multiple tasks at a time.Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook a new recipe.

Men - Single Process
Men's brain designed to concentrate only one work at a time.. Men cannot watch a TV and talk on phone same time. He stops the TV while Talking.He can either watch TV or talk over phone or cook.

LANGUAGE.
Women can easily learn many languages the way her brain's set up. But cannot find the solutions to problems...
Men cannot easily learn languages; he can easily solve the problems.
3 year old girl has three times higher vocabulary than 3 year old boy.

ANALYTICAL SKILL
Men's brain has lot of space for handling the analytical process. So easily he can analyze and find the solution for a process. He can design (blue print) a map of a building easily...
 If a complex map is viewed by women, she cannot understand it. She cannot understand the details of the map easily.For her it is dump lines in a paper.

CAR DRIVING.
While driving a car, men's analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fast. If he see an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and drive accordingly. Where as women take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. His single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrate only on the driving. You can often watch, while men driving the car fast, women sit next to him will shout, "GO SLOW" , "CAREFULL", "AAHHH", "OHH GOD.." .etc..

LIE
Many times, when men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily. Her super natural brain observes the facial expression 70%, and the body language 20% and the words from mouth 10%. So he is easily caught while lying. Men's brain does not have this.....
 Women easily lie to men face to face. So guys, while lying to , use phone, or letter or close all the lights or cover your/her face with blanket. Don't lie face to face.

PROBLEM.
End of day, if men have lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and put into individual rooms of brain, the problems in individual room of brain and finding the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking on the sky's for a long times. If you disturb him, he gets irritated.
End of Day, if women have lot of problems, her brain cannot classify the problems. she wants someone to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problem solved or not.

WANTS
Men want status, success, solutions, big process... etc 
Women want relationship, friends, family...etc. ..

UNHAPPY
If women unhappy with their relations, she cannot concentrate on work.
 If men unhappy with their work, he cannot concentrate on the relations.

MAP
Men can easily locate the place in a complex map. His analytical brain does this. While watching a cricket match in a stadium with full of crowd, men can leave his seat to T shop and keeps everything in his mind and comes back to his seat without problems. He uses his analytical skills space of brain. Women can't do this. They often lose their way to their seat.

SPEECH
Women use indirect languages in speech. Priya asked Vijay, "vijay do you like to have a cup of coffee?" This means, Priya really wants a cup of coffee. In the morning."Darling, do you think, will it be good to have an Omlette for breakfast.Men use direct language. "Priya, I want to have a cup of coffee, Pls stop the car when you see a coffee shop". In the morning.." Darling, Can you please prepare an omlette for breakfast".

HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking, if they are in emotion. Men act a lot without thinking. That's why many of prisoners are men all over the world .

~Source : MaRiA's GalLeRy

Hold My Hand

A little girl and her father were crossing a flimsy bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.”

The little girl said, “No, Dad. You hold my hand.” “What’s the difference?” asked the puzzled father.

“There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl. “If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.

HOLD the HAND of the PERSON whom YOU LOVE rather than Expecting Them to Hold Yours…

Make Your Windows Fast As Never Before!

I've focused here on the ones which are simple to do and won't cause problems if you get it wrong, rather than listing registry tweaks etc.

DISABLE INDEXING SERVICES  Indexing Services is a small little program that uses large amounts of RAM and can often make a computer endlessly loud and noisy. This system process indexes and updates lists of all the files that are on your computer. It does this so that when you do a search for something on your computer; it will search faster by scanning the index lists. If you don't search your computer often, or even if you do search often, this system service is completely unnecessary. To disable do the following:  1. Go to Start  2. Click Settings  3. Click Control Panel  4. Double-click Add/Remove Programs  5. Click the Add/Remove Window Components  6. Uncheck the Indexing services  7. Click Next  OPTIMISE DISPLAY SETTINGS  Windows XP can look sexy but displaying all the visual items can waste system resources. To optimise:  1.Go to Start  2. Click Settings  3. Click Control Panel  4. Click System  5. Click Advanced tab  6. In the Performance tab click Settings  7. Leave only the following ticked:  - Show shadows under menus  - Show shadows under mouse pointer  - Show translucent selection rectangle  - Use drop shadows for icons labels on the desktop  - Use visual styles on windows and buttons  DISABLE PERFORMANCE COUNTERS  Windows XP has a performance monitor utility which monitors several areas of your PC's performance. These utilities take up system resources so disabling is a good idea.  To disable:  1. download and install the Extensible Performance Counter List  2.Then select each counter in turn in the 'Extensible performance counters' window and clear the 'performance counters enabled' checkbox at the bottom.button below.  SPEEDUP FOLDER BROWSING  You may have noticed that everytime you open my computer to browse folders that there is a slight delay. This is because Windows XP automatically searches for network files and printers everytime you open Windows Explorer. To fix this and to increase browsing significantly:  1. Open My Computer  2. Click on Tools menu  3. Click on Folder Options  4. Click on the View tab.  5. Uncheck the Automatically search for network folders and printers check box  6. Click Apply  7. Click Ok  8. Reboot your computer  IMPROVE MEMORY USAGE  Cacheman Improves the performance of your computer by optimizing the disk cache, memory and a number of other settings.  Once Installed:  1.Go to Show Wizard and select All  2.Run all the wizards by selecting Next or Finished until you are back to the main menu. Use the defaults unless you know exactly what you are doing.  3.Exit and Save Cacheman  4.Restart Windows  OPTIMISE YOUR INTERNET CONNECTION  There are lots of ways to do this but by far the easiest is to run TCP/IP Optimizer.  1. Download and install  2. Click the General Settings tab and select your Connection Speed (Kbps)  3. Click Network Adapter and choose the interface you use to connect to the Internet  4. Check Optimal Settings then Apply  5. Reboot  OPTIMISE YOUR PAGEFILE  If you give your pagefile a fixed size it saves the operating system from needing to resize the page file.  1. Right click on My Computer and select Properties  2. Select the Advanced tab  3. Under Performance choose the Settings button  4. Select the Advanced tab again and under Virtual Memory select Change  5. Highlight the drive containing your page file and make the initial Size of the file the same as the Maximum Size of the file.  Windows XP sizes the page file to about 1.5X the amount of actual physical memory by default. While this is good for systems with smaller amounts of memory (under 512MB) it is unlikely that a typical XP desktop system will ever need 1.5 X 512MB or more of virtual memory. If you have less than 512MB of memory, leave the page file at its default size. If you have 512MB or more, change the ratio to 1:1 page file size to physical memory size.  RUN BOOTVIS - IMPROVE BOOT TIMES  BootVis will significantly improve boot times  1. Download and Run  2. Select Trace  3. Select Next Boot and Driver Trace  4. A Trace Repetitions screen will appear, select Ok and Reboot  5. Upon reboot, BootVis will automatically start, analyze and log your system's boot process. When it's done, in the menu go to Trace and select Optimize System  6. Reboot.  7. When your machine has rebooted wait until you see the Optimizing System box appear. Be patient and wait for the process to complete  REMOVE THE DESKTOP PICTURE  Your desktop background consumes a fair amount of memory and can slow the loading time of your system. Removing it will improve performance.  1. Right click on Desktop and select Properties  2. Select the Desktop tab  3. In the Background window select None  4. Click Ok  REMOVE FONTS FOR SPEED  Fonts, especially TrueType fonts, use quite a bit of system resources. For optimal performance, trim your fonts down to just those that you need to use on a daily basis and fonts that applications may require.  1. Open Control Panel  2. Open Fonts folder  3. Move fonts you don't need to a temporary directory (e.g. C:FONTBKUP?) just in case you need or want to bring a few of them back. The more fonts you uninstall, the more system resources you will gain.  DISABLE UNNECESSARY SERVICES  Because Windows XP has to be all things to all people it has many services running that take up system resources that you will never need. Below is a list of services that can be disabled on most machines:  Alerter  Clipbook  Computer Browser  Distributed Link Tracking Client  Fast User Switching  Help and Support - (If you use Windows Help and Support leave this enabled)  Human Interface Access Devices  Indexing Service  IPSEC Services  Messenger  Netmeeting Remote Desktop Sharing (disabled for extra security)  Portable Media Serial Number  Remote Desktop Help Session Manager (disabled for extra security)  Remote Procedure Call Locator  Remote Registry (disabled for extra security)  Remote Registry Service  Secondary Logon  Routing & Remote Access (disabled for extra security)  Server  SSDP Discovery Service - (Unplug n' Pray will disable this)  Telnet  TCP/IP NetBIOS Helper  Upload Manager  Universal Plug and Play Device Host  Windows Time  Wireless Zero Configuration (Do not disable if you use a wireless network)  Workstation  To disable these services:  Go to Start and then Run and type "services.msc"  Doubleclick on the service you want to change  Change the startup type to 'Disable"  TURN OFF SYSTEM RESTORE  System Restore can be a useful if your computer is having problems, however storing all the restore points can literally take up Gigabytes of space on your hard drive. To turn off System Restore:  Open Control Panel  Click on Performance and Maintenance  Click on System  Click on the System Restore tab  Tick 'Turn off System Restore on All Drives'  Click 'Ok'  DEFRAGMENT YOUR PAGEFILE  Keeping your pagefile defragmented can provide a major performance boost. One of the best ways of doing this is to creat a separate partition on your hard drive just for your page file, so that it doesn't get impacted by normal disk usage. Another way of keeping your pagefile defragmented is to run PageDefrag. This cool little app can be used to defrag your pagefile, and can also be set to defrag the pagefile everytime your PC starts. To install:  Download and Run PageDefrag  Tick "Defrag at next Reboot",  Click "Ok"  Reboot  SPEEDUP FOLDER ACCESS - DISABLE LAST ACCESS UPDATE  If you have a lot of folders and subdirectories on your computer, when you access a directory XP wastes a lot of time updating the time stamp showing the last access time for that directory and for ALL sub directories. To stop XP doing this you need to edit the registry. If you are uncomfortable doing this then please do not attempt.  Go to Start and then Run and type "regedit"  Click through the file system until you get to "HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINESystemCurrentControlSetControlFileSystem"  Right-click in a blank area of the window on the right and select 'DWORD Value'  Create a new DWORD Value called 'NtfsDisableLastAccessUpdate'  Then Right click on the new value and select 'Modify'  Change the Value Data to '1'  Click 'OK'  DISABLE SYSTEM SOUNDS  Surprisingly, the beeps that your computer makes for various system sounds can slow it down, particularly at startup and shut-down. To fix this turn off the system sounds:  Open Control Panel  Click Sounds and Audio Devices  Check Place volume icon in taskbar  Click Sounds Tab  Choose "No Sounds" for the Sound Scheme  Click "No"  Click "Apply"  Click "OK"  IMPROVE BOOT TIMES  A great new feature in Microsoft Windows XP is the abili ty to do a boot defragment. This places all boot files next to each other on the disk to allow for faster booting. By default this option in enables but on some builds it is not so below is how to turn it on.  Go to Start Menu and Click Run  Type in "Regedit" then click ok  Find "HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINESOFTWAREMicrosoftDfrgBootOpt imizeFunction"  Select "Enable" from the list on the right  Right on it and select "Modify"  Change the value to "Y to enable"  Reboot  IMPROVE SWAPFILE PERFORMANCE  If you have more than 256MB of RAM this tweak will considerably improve your performance. It basically makes sure that your PC uses every last drop of memory (faster than swap file) before it starts using the swap file.  Go to Start then Run  Type "msconfig.exe" then ok  Click on the System.ini tab  Expand the 386enh tab by clicking on the plus sign  Click on new then in the blank box type"ConservativeSwapfileUsage=1"  Click OK  Restart PC  MAKE YOUR MENUS LOAD FASTER  This is one of my favourite tweaks as it makes a huge difference to how fast your machine will 'feel'. What this tweak does is remove the slight delay between clicking on a menu and XP displaying the menu.  Go to Start then Run  Type 'Regedit' then click 'Ok'  Find "HKEY_CURRENT_USERControl PanelDesktop"  Select "MenuShowDelay"  Right click and select "Modify'  Reduce the number to around "100"  This is the delay time before a menu is opened. You can set it to "0" but it can make windows really hard to use as menus will open if you just look at them - well move your mouse over them anyway. I tend to go for anywhere between 50-150 depending on my mood  MAKE PROGRAMS LOAD FASTER  This little tweak tends to work for most programs. If your program doesn't load properly just undo the change. For any program:  Right-click on the icon/shortcut you use to launch the program  Select properties  In the 'target' box, add ' /prefetch:1' at the end of the line.  Click "Ok"  Voila - your programs will now load faster.  IMPROVE XP SHUTDOWN SPEED  This tweak reduces the time XP waits before automatically closing any running programs when you give it the command to shutdown.  Go to Start then select Run  Type 'Regedit' and click ok  Find 'HKEY_CURRENT_USERControl PanelDesktop\'  Select 'WaitToKillAppTimeout'  Right click and select 'Modify'  Change the value to '1000'  Click 'OK'  Now select 'HungAppTimeout'  Right click and select 'Modify'  Change the value to '1000'  Click 'OK'  Now find 'HKEY_USERS.DEFAULTControl PanelDesktop'  Select 'WaitToKillAppTimeout'  Right click and select 'Modify'  Change the value to '1000'  Click 'OK'  Now find 'HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINESystemCurrentControlSetControl\'  Select 'WaitToKillServiceTimeout'  Right click and select 'Modify'  Change the value to '1000'  Click 'OK'  SPEED UP BOOT TIMES I  This tweak works by creating a batch file to clear the temp and history folders everytime you shutdown so that your PC doesn't waste time checking these folders the next time it boots. It's quite simple to implement:  1. Open Notepad and create a new file with the following entries:  RD /S /q "C:Documents and Settings"UserName without quotes"Local SettingsHistory"  RD /S /q "C:Documents and SettingsDefault UserLocal SettingsHistory"  RD /S /q "D:Temp" <--"Deletes temp folder, type in the location of your temp folder"  2. Save the new as anything you like but it has to be a '.bat' file e.g. fastboot.bat or deltemp.bat  3. Click 'Start' then 'Run'  4. Type in 'gpedit.msc' and hit 'ok'  5. Click on 'Computer Configuration' then 'Windows Settings'  6. Double-click on 'Scripts' and then on 'Shutdown'  7. Click 'Add' and find the batch file that you created and then press 'Ok'  SPEED UP BOOT TIMES II  When your PC starts it usually looks for any bootable media in any floppy or cd-rom drives you have installed before it gets around to loading the Operating System from the HDD. This can waste valuable time. To fix this we need to make some changes to the Bios.  1. To enter the bios you usually press 'F2' or 'delete' when your PC starts  2. Navigate to the 'Boot' menu  3. Select 'Boot Sequence'  4. Then either move your Hard drive to the top position or set it as the 'First Device'  5. Press the 'Escape' key to leave the bios. Don't forget to save your settings before exiting  Note: Once this change has been made, you won't be able to boot from a floppy disc or a CD-rom. If for some strange reason you need to do this in the future, just go back into your bios, repeat the steps above and put your floppy or CD-rom back as the 'First Device'  SPEED UP BOOT TIMES III  When your computer boots up it usually has to check with the network to see what IP addresses are free and then it grabs one of these. By configuring a manually assigned IP address your boot time will improve. To do this do the following:  1. Click on 'Start' and then ''Connect To/Show All Connections'  2. Right-click your network adapter card and click 'Properties'.  3. On the 'General' tab, select 'TCP/IP' in the list of services and click 'Properties'  4.I n the TCP/IP properties, click 'Use the following address' and enter an IP address for your PC. If you are using a router this is usually 192.168.0.xx or 192.168.1.xx. If you are not sure what address you could check with your ISP or go to 'Start/run' and type 'cmd' and then 'ipconfig/all'. This will show your current IP settings which you will need to copy.  5. Enter the correct details for 'Subnet mask', 'Default gateway' and 'DNS Server'. Again if you are not sure what figures to enter use 'ipconfig/all' as in stage 4.  FREE UP MEMORY  I found this useful app via FixMyXP. ClearMem Is an Excellent Tool for speeding up your XP Computer (especially if your system has been on for awhile and you have a lot of applications open). What it does, is it Forces pages out of physical memory and reduces the size of running processes if working sets to a minimum. When you run this tool, the system pauses because of excessive high-priority activity associated with trimming the working sets. To run this tool, your paging file must be at least as large as physical memory. To Check your Paging File:  1. Go to your control panel, then click on 'System', then go to the 'Advanced' Tab, and Under 'Performance' click 'Settings' then the 'Advanced' Tab  2. On the Bottom you should see 'Virtual Memory' and a value. This is the value that must be at least as large as how much memory is in your system.  3. If the Virtual Memory Value is smaller than your system memory, click Change and change the Min Virtual Memory to a number that is greater than your total system memory, then click 'Set' and Reboot.  4. Once you have rebooted install ClearMem  ENSURE XP IS USING DMA MODE  XP enables DMA for Hard-Drives and CD-Roms by default on most ATA or ATAPI (IDE) devices. However, sometimes computers switch to PIO mode which is slower for data transfer - a typical reason is because of a virus. To ensure that your machine is using DMA:  1. Open 'Device Manager'  2. Double-click 'IDE ATA/ATAPI Controllers'  3. Right-click 'Primary Channel' and select 'Properties' and then 'Advanced Settings'  4. In the 'Current Transfer Mode' drop-down box, select 'DMA if Available' if the current setting is 'PIO Only'  ADD CORRECT NETWORK CARD SETTINGS  Some machines suffer from jerky graphics or high CPU usage even when a machine is idle. A possible solution for this, which, can also can help network performance is to:  1. RightClick 'My Computer'  2. Select 'Manage'  3. Click on 'Device Manager'  4. DoubleClick your network adaptor under 'Network Adapters'  5. In the new window, select the 'Advanced' tab  6. Select 'Connection Type' and select the correct type for your card and then Reboot  REMOVE ANNOYING DELETE CONFIRMATION MESSAGES  Although not strictly a performance tweak I love this fix as it makes my machine 'feel' faster. I hate the annoying 'are you sure?' messages that XP displays, especially if I have to use a laptop touchpad to close them. To remove these messages:  1. Right-click on the 'Recycle Bin' on the desktop and then click 'Properties'  2. Clear the 'Display Delete Confirmation Dialog' check box and click 'Ok'  If you do accidently delete a file don't worry as all is not lost. Just go to your Recycle Bin and 'Restore' the file.  DISABLE PREFETCH ON LOW MEMORY SYSTEMS  Prefetch is designed to speed up program launching by preloading programs into memory - not a good idea is memory is in short supply, as it can make programs hang. To disable prefetch:  1. Click 'Start' then 'Run'  2. Type in 'Regedit' then click 'Ok'  3. Navigate to 'HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINESYSTEMCurrentControlSetControlSession ManagerMemory ManagementPrefetchParameters\'  4. Right-click on "EnablePrefetcher" and set the value to '0'  5. Reboot.  I hope you find these changes useful.